"Bonkers expectations," Nancy.
This was Nancy Reddy's answer when I asked her why motherhood feels like such an impossible feat these days.
I laughed at first because bonkers is just a funny word, but then I stopped because I realized, she's right.
It is bonkers. We are in information overload, inundated by podcasts (#Isntitironic), books, and influencers who are telling us how to parent our children with all of our attention, whilst also self-caring for ourselves.
Nancy is a mother + writer/author/poet.
The theme throughout her writing? Motherhood.
One of her biggest aha moments in her research was when she realized that there was no “right” way to be a mother.
In her own quest to mother the “right way,” she read the books and she took to heart the advice of the experts, but finally realized that this was no way to parent, and ultimately, no way to live.
Through writing her anthology — during which she formed relationships with mothers of all backgrounds — she discovered that there are lots of ways to be a “good mom” (she hates that phrase) to your kid that aren’t about following a rule.
That goes hand in hand with not forgetting that you are a person even after you have kids - and there's no right way to be that either. Something that we at Mother Plus feel very strongly about.
Needless to say, Nancy had some really thought-provoking insights into motherhood that she shared with all of us on this week's show.
There Is No Right Way To Be A Mother: A Conversation With A Mother + Author
So tell us. Who was your "Dr. Sears?" You know, the parenting expert you glommed on to as a new mom, following their advice to a T?
Mine was Janet Lansbury. Her podcast "Unruffled" was like my parenting bible. If Charley threw a tantrum, I would consult her. If her advice wasn't working for me, I assumed I was doing it wrong. I felt constant shame and guilt for this. One day, I removed it from my podcast library along with every other parenting podcast and haven't turned back since. Your turn.
Stace & Steph
Who the heck are we? Learn more about us here.
p.s. Did you know that Nancy came to us through a cold email? Meaning, we didn't know her before-hand, but couldn't ignore this accomplished woman showcasing her work, and stating her passion for our cause. As you can see, we listened. We're not lying when we say, email us! Tell us what you're thinking. Tell us who you know. Tell us why you would be the perfect guest on our show. We're listening.